Labor

This has been quite the weekend! Just now I’m finding a few minutes to write down my Sunday night feelings, and I warn you – this is a spiritual post and an honest one.

Let me be honest. Some days I find it difficult to love. Some days it is difficult to keep bitterness at bay and to remain a gracious compassionate human on this decaying planet. As I get older and my life has been seasoned with wise friends, I have learned that often I make my own misery. I worry over things that would be better left unworried over. I try to focus on not worrying about them, and end up worrying more. I get tired and start to see faults I never had seen before in others around me – faults that only my tired glazed eyes could conjure. To make it all worse, I do not heed the advice of my friends , screaming at me to slow down, to take one hour to rest and be still. Instead, I push harder until I am weary of myself and others. I’m incapable of sequential thought.

At times like these, my mind is so far gone that not even prayer will focus me again. How is it that I am so convinced of my own better judgment? Did not God give us the gift of feelings to be used? He gave us tiredness to know when our bodies need rest. Thirst to know when to drink deeply. Laughter to cheer our spirits. And still, I push some of his most precious gifts away.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28

Lord, I admit I push too hard on my own. I do not prioritize my body or my gifts best to serve you. Worst of all I am guilty of not listening to your promptings in my life. I ask that you would fill me with rest and the discernment of wisdom to do that which serves you best. Be with me now.